S1 E28: Passive vs Aggressive

You ever notice that taking selfies has you looking like you have Peyton Manning head? Genie talks taking more flattering selfies and videos to avoid looking like an alien, and dealing with someone’s passive aggressive behavior.

Show Transcript

Guess who’s back?!

Happy Friday, Black Twitter!

We’ve made it through another week.
We’re taking one step forward each day.

Basically, we’re winning.

Yes. . . winning. *nods*

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We’re twenty-four days away from our special Halloween episode of Good Morning Black Twitter, and I’m SOOOOO excited to share it with y’all. I can’t wait. Be sure to check out Good Morning Black Twitter on October 31st, and tell a friend.

So, today I’m gonna tweet for people who use their camera phones as mirrors.
I mean. . . it’s there. You need to see if you have spinach in your teeth. Unlock that bad boy in two seconds, and BAM! Forward-facing camera is now a mirror.

OH! And, you know what I realized?

You know how front-facing cameras distort your face, and make your forehead look big, or your jaw look mad wide? Like in real life you’re cute, but on camera you have Peyton Manning head?

WEYOLL. . . if you turn your phone to landscape mode (that means it’s on its side) you can have a regular face again! You, too, can not look like an alien while tryna take a selfie.

This is a groundbreaking discovery, y’all. I have saved some social lives with this. I have saved MY social life with this. Mmkay!

But, you know, now this gives me pause. Because, along with the front facing camera taking better selfies when it’s in landscape mode. . . the regular camera takes better videos when it’s in landscape mode, too. And it makes me wonder. . . why don’t the people who make the cameras that go in phones just automatically design them to be in landscape mode.

I mean, think about it. . . in the history of taking pictures, when we used to use real cameras, if you wanted to take a picture the long way, you had to turn your camera to the side. If you didn’t turn your camera, the default was a wider shot.

But, oh no no! Not with the new 2000 twinkie cameras. Now, smartphone cameras default to the narrower shot, which goes against generations of established camera behavior!
Leaving us with distorted faces in our selfies. . . and videos with those ugly black bars.

No kank you.

So, yeah, it’d be nice if the people who make camera phones would go back to the original default aspect ratios, so we can all enjoy better images and videos, but until they do, remember. . . when taking video, or solo selfies. . . turn your phone to landscape mode for a more flattering view.

Okay. . . now that that’s out of the way, can we talk about passive aggressive people?

For those of you who aren’t 100% on what being passive aggressive means, it just means that you’re avoiding direct communication and opt for things like verbal sounds, and making faces, in the hopes that the other person gets their implied meaning.

Like have you ever gotten on a train or bus and the person you stand or sit next to decides to give a sigh or a grunt to express their displeasure?

That’s passive aggressiveness.

In most cases it’s not only ineffective, it’s downright annoying.

I don’t know about you, but passive aggressive people make me aggressively passive. I become determined not to give you whatever it is you want, but won’t verbalize, like. . . .

[dog gif]

I mean, I pride myself on being emotionally intelligent, so I can usually pick up on non-verbal cues. . . BUT

There’s nothing I hate more than people who expect you to read their minds, instead of just saying what they need to say.

They’ll give you a . . .




*sucks teeth*

Instead of just saying, “excuse me, would you back up a little bit?” Or, whatever the issue is.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Genie that never works”. Au contraire mon frere!

You’d be surprised how many people acquiesce to simple requests that are simply stated.

And, even if it doesn’t work every time, I guarantee you it’s way more effective than huffing and puffing and hoping the person does what you want them to do even though you never asked them to do what you want them to do, so you really can’t even say for sure that they know what you want them to do, to do it.

Because, I pretty much live for any opportunity to be a justified jerk. I will see all your passive aggressive moaning and groaning and raise you utter obliviousness. And, the whole time, you’ll be the one who’s miserable, and I will chill. All because you refused to open your mouth and speak like an adult.

*Kanye shrug*

Aggressively passive.

[Grinch smile]

Are you passive aggressive? Have you ever had to deal with someone who’s passive aggressive? Hit me up in the comments on goodmorningblacktwitter.com or tweet me @gmbtshow. Let’s practice some direct communication.

I’ll be back next week with more show. Have a good morning, Black Twitter!

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