S1 E43: Insecure

airdate: 30 November 2016

Molly gets it popping on Insecure, but Yvonne Orji is a virgin. And, Genie wants Brandy, Sonja, and Tamar to quit their insecure ways.

Show Transcript
Good Morning, Black Twitter!

I’m your host, A Pimp Named Genie Lauren, and today I’m gonna tweet for people who want a honeybun every time they see honey bun baby.

[insert pic of honey bun baby]

It’s the cheeks! They’re so cute.

If you can look at that baby and not automatically crave the sticky, sweet goodness of a honey bun, we are not people.

And, I don’t even eat carbs like that.

Anyhoo. . . this is your regular reminder to sign up for the Good Morning Black Twitter newsletter by going to goodmorningblacktwitter.com.

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So, the timeline has been talking about Insecure for a week now, but you know what kind of flew under the radar?

Yvonne Oji, the actress who plays Molly on the HBO Show “Insecure”, is a 32-year-old virgin. . . and, everyone’s pretty much said “okay” and moved on.

I’m actually impressed with everyone’s ability to not make this a big thing, but I gotta say, I kinda wish I didn’t know. Because, now, I can’t help but think about the fact that Yvonne is really a virgin, while “Molly” is doing the spread eagle every other episode.

I think Molly had more sex this season than I’ve had my entire adult life.

And, don’t you dare laugh, because according to a Buzzfeed quiz I’ve had more sex than most people my age.

So, somebody lying, or we can all womp it up.

Anyway. I don’t really want to talk about why Yvonne chose not to have sex, or any of those details, honestly I don’t wanna know. Not in a “ew” way, just in a. . . it’s really none of my business, and I’d rather not have that nugget of information influence my viewing of the show.

But, I just wanted to mention it, because I’m really glad folks haven’t made it a big deal (at least not anyone I’ve seen).

Then again, Yvonne is a woman, and women can kinda get away with these things a bit easier.

If Yvonne were a man, someone would’ve called her all types of homophobic slurs. . . especially Charlemagne the Donkey (she was on The Breakfast Club, when she revealed she hasn’t had sex yet).

Speaking of insecure, can we talk about Brandy coming for Monica, yet again?

And, Tamar Braxton chiming in?

Brief recap: Monica said in an interview that Whitney Houston was like her fairy godmother.

Brandy felt some kind of way about it, and basically said “other people” wish they had what she and Whitney had. And, Tamar Braxton chimed in on Brandy’s Instagram comments with a co-sign.

I don’t know if you care, I actually don’t care. What I am is baffled as to how these two grown women can be so damn childish.

Not petty, insecure.

I will own up to my petty any day. If you harm me or mines, come for my funds, my family, or my food (and, not necessarily in that order), I. Will. Get. You.

I personally believe there aren’t enough consequences in the world, and will take it upon myself to dole them out, when it affects me. That’s petty.

Brandy and Tamar?

Brandy and Tamar are – by anyone’s measure – two rich, successful, critically acclaimed women. But, somehow they are PRESSED and worried about someone who’s not giving them a second thought. That’s not petty, that’s insecure.

You can’t get me to pay dust to people I don’t like now, and I’m broke!
Let me be rich, with grammy. . . nominations, and a healthy family, and whatnot.
You wouldn’t be able to get me to acknowledge someone I don’t like was even alive.

Every answer to a question would be, “I don’t know her.”

But, Brandy and Tamar. . . insecure and pressed.

And, Brandy clearly gets it from her mama, because Sonja chimed in too.

Monica is really the only grown up in this whole situation.

Dass sad.

Y’all keep saying Monica’s gonna go off, but I really hope she doesn’t. If Brandy ever confronts Monica (which I don’t think she will), I hope Monica doesn’t even give her the pleasure of a furrowed brow. Not a sideward glance, nor a paused breath.

I hope Monica responds to her the way Noami Campbell responded to Tyra Banks on her own show.

[insert clip of Naomi]

Let her stew Monica.

Now, that’s petty.

Have you ever had to deal with insecure people who don’t know how to handle themselves like adults?
Are you an insecure person and don’t know what to do with yourself? Holla at me in the comments of goodmorningblacktwitter.com or tweet me @gmbtshow.

Let’s get over this hump by putting one foot in front of the other, shall we?
Have a good morning, Black Twitter!

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