Genie’s back in time for MLK Day, has a dream that white people will stay in their lane and stop saying “boujee”, and serves up another installment of “As The Timeline Scrolls”.
Happy Martin Luther King Day, Black Twitter!
I’m your host, Genie Lauren, and I’m so glad I’ve recovered enough to make it back to y’all in time for MLK Day. Came back to a black holiday. It’s lit!
[clip of Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday”]
Remember what I said, stop there. . . don’t keep going because it just gets awkward tryna end the song. Just get it, got it, go.
Today, I’m going to tweet for people who have the day off in honor of MLK’s birthday.
Shout out to us, and our employer. Black jobs matter!
I hope you’re gonna spend the day doing something productive that enriches your spirit.
I am going to spending the day . . . still getting over this damn cold.
Because I still *ahem*
Still have a *ahem* here
I can’t *ahem*
And, it’s absolutely ridiculous. Raise your hand if you’ve been fighting a cold for over a month now.
And, you might be thinking, “Genie you should go to a doctor”. Well, I would, except my doctor just retired and notified me via email.
So, here we are.
The good news is I’m getting better, and I haven’t forgotten about you all, nor have I forgotten about announcing the winner of Genie’s Wishlist.
Before a cold tried to cut my life short, I said I was giving away a hoodie from Friend to the Show 1854 Cycling Co to one lucky watcher or newsletter subscriber, and damnit, that’s what I’m going to do.
The winner will be announced *this* Wednesday, come hell or high temperatures.
And, while we’re at it, whether you’re watching or listening to the show, subscribe and rate it, I’d appreciate it.
Now, it’s time for another installment of “As The Timeline Scrolls”.
This episode of “As the Timeline Scrolls” is brought to you by @FatHippedJunkie and @WhatUpJT and the entirety of Black Twitter for making this the most convoluted story to ever hit the tweets.
Let’s start with the fact that WhatUpJT claims FatHippedJunkie drove all the way to his hotel, blew up the bathroom, refused to have sex, and then slept in her car after he put her out.
FatHippedJunkie claims she didn’t blow up anyone’s bathroom.
And, Twitter claims it was a flyout. . . in her car.
What is the truth?!
A lot of the story is missing. A lot of the tweets have been deleted. But, what we do know is FatHippedJunkie drove for miles with no money and no gas. And, WhatUpJT spent money on a hotel room but ain’t get none.
How we gon tell her mama she drove all this way just to curve a man?
I guess the moral of the story is, if you think he’s ugly the first time, believe yourself. (with tweet embed)
Anyhoo. Can we talk about boujee? I’m not pronouncing it like “bougie” by the way, there’s no G in it. It’s spelled with a J. It’s boujee. And, you can fight me.
There’s been some sore spots on Twitter lately because white people have found out about Bad and Boujee, and already started stealing it.
Is that train ever late, by the way?
White people take things black people created then try to sell them back to us like the neighborhood crackhead does.
And, all you can do is look at them like. . . “I’m pretty sure that’s my shirt you’re tryna sell me.”
“I’m pretty sure I just wore those pants yesterday”.
“That’s my watch- “
“Stop taking my stuff, white people, GAWD!”
So, white people have taken boujee. They took bougie long ago, it was only a matter of time.
And, there’s not much we can even do about it . . . womp.
I just found out that boujee and bougie aren’t even the same thing, like yesterday, so I won’t really miss it. But, if you’re black and you considered yourself boujee, you have my sincerest condolences.
I am sorry for your loss.
I have a dream that one day white people will stay in their lane. I might not get there with you. But, I want you to know that I have seen the promised land, and we will get there.
Did you consider yourself boujee? Hell, did you ever consider yourself bougie? Get at me in the comments on goodmorningblacktwitter.com or tweet me @gmbtshow. I wanna hear from you.
That’s all for this episode. Thanks for making time for #TeaTime. Good Morning, Black Twitter.
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